Loins and coins

by Sarah Modlock

24 January 2005

Aaaaah. Talk about saving the best until last. What would life be without a little lust? Or even a lot of lust. No thanks to the spoilsports who are trying to take the fun out of it. Lust has been wrongly branded a vice and should be 'reclaimed for humanity' as a life-affirming virtue, according to a top philosopher. Professor Simon Blackburn of Cambridge University is trying to 'rescue' lust, arguing it has been wrongly condemned for centuries. Hhmm. No fun in that. The forbidden, clandestine nature of lust is all part of the appeal. To 'rescue' it would surely make it about as sexy as your parents telling you the facts of life.

Lust can strike without warning and is deliciously indiscriminate. Everyone is capable of being loin-struck, from the quietest librarian to a squaddie in a local nightclub (also known as a 'target-rich environment'). But of course another great thing about lust is that it's free. Or is it? With St Valentine's Day fast approaching, the amount of cash we spend on lust - not to mention its infinitely more dangerous cousin, love - is soaring.

Pulling power

For starters, we are becoming a nation of metrosexuals. British girls are getting their beauty tips out for the boys who are now collectively spending £959 million on first date grooming routines according to a study by Virgin Money. The build-up to a first date typically costs the boys up to £190, with almost half of that going on new clothes, haircuts and - wait for it - sunbed sessions.

Apparently it's us women who are forcing men to sharpen up their acts and compete with celebrities like Jude Law and David Beckham. I'm more of a Sean Bean kind of girl so a man with a better manicure than mine won't set my world on fire. But according to Virgin's research, the matinee idol image does not need to come with a Hollywood-sized salary. Around three quarters of the girls questioned said they would prefer their man to have good looks rather than a big wallet. Under pressure, men admit to spending £102.75 every month on new clothes, keeping fit and beauty treatments, compared with the girls' bills of £104.75. Add to this the £109.90 average cost of a first date and you're looking at a pretty impressive investment before you even get to first base.

Kinky Boots

Gone are the days of 'no sex please, we're British'. You could be forgiven for thinking that lust is all around. Well it is. Just as New York City was terrorised by King Kong, the traditional British high street has been attacked by Rampant Rabbit. If you have never heard of the latter then all you need to know is that it's not furry, runs on batteries and makes women smile. A lot.

No blushing now. More than 500 of these lovely leporines hop off the shelves of Ann Summers stores every week. At £45 a time (sans batteries) you can see why the company was keen to move beyond London's soho and snuggle in amongst local shops across the country. The 'UK's number one pleasure retailer' now has a total of 117 high street shops across the UK. Its turnover last year was £110m. Far from being dimly lighted with just a couple of red-faced men fumbling with latex lingerie, 70% of customers in the gleaming shops are ABC1 (that's middle class to you and I) women. The remaining 30% are men shopping with their partners.

Posh chicks are flocking to Myla stores in London and Manchster where the state of the art equivalent of the rabbit looks more like a sculptured wine opener and costs £199. Selfridges and Debenhams sell sex toys and 'racey' underwear and even housewives' favourite Boots the chemist was considering getting stuck in last year. That will give your mother a shock when she goes to buy a new toothbrush.

Hop to it

Far from being secret, lust is being celebrated. Last November's Erotica festival at Olympia was visited by more than 75,000 people over three days - that's more visitors per square metre than the Ideal Home Show. According to its organisers, most visitors are homeowners, almost one third are married and 40% have a degree. The average amount each visitor spends on products is a stiff £195.

According to Internet filtering software firm BSafe, about billion a year is spent on cyber-pornography a year, and there are over two million Internet sex sites, with 2,500 being added each week. Around 16 million men have hard and fast ideas about how to spend their money - Pfizer sales of Viagra are .5bn a year. Even the Church of England jumped on the bandwagon, buying shares in Pfizer in the late 1990s.

But before you put your hand in your pocket, think twice. Research by insurer Royal London puts paid to the myth that lying about the size of your wallet affects your chances with the opposite sex. Despite the popular belief that money is the perhaps the biggest aphrodisiac of all, the survey suggests that honesty really is the best policy. Only 3% of us admit to having lied about our salary to impress a partner, and only 2% have continued a relationship because their partner lavished them with expensive gifts. For many women it's the thought that counts rather than the expensive bouquet of roses - which, incidentally, cost £64.50 plus delivery from Interflora last Valentine's Day and £45 on every other day.

For the seedy few, the pursuit of lust doesn't have to cost a fortune. A long list of lovers from James Hewitt to Rebecca Loos have made money through kiss-and-sell stories. Of course, tabloid newspapers didn't exist when the list of the seven deadly sins was drawn up by Pope Gregory the Great in the 6th Century. He declared that the punishment for lust was to be smothered in fire and brimstone. Crazy fool. He can't have realised how many perverts would enjoy that.